It Has Come To This

I started this blog, as a mean to channel my frustration . Yes, I admit. Embarrassingly it was one of those attention seeking blog that starts out from the whole, fallin out of 'love' phase. Heck, I know its sad.

but

I'd like to think that it has sumwhat served/serving its purpose which ultimately is to not forget, but move on. And over the course of writing these pathetic posts i've come to realise i dont want this place to be a glommy one. I want it to be a happy one. A place to share some good music, some laughs and u know, stuffs like that. Catch mi drift dontcha?

but

Sadly, i am miserably failing at evolving this place to a happy one. As of lately, things have become much harder. Put aside the non existing social life. Being away from home, the serious procrastination, the inability to focus. Getting old like this is seriously doin much harm to the insides of my head like how suicide doesnt seem like a bad idea at all. Rest assured tho, for it will remain as just a thought and this dude hasnt the guts to pull of sumthing like that. That may very well be the reason i am lookin foward to 2012.

fck

I'm doin it again. I inadvertently fall into this depressive state, and it'd only gets worse as i progress, and for that reason i shall stop now.

U'd say, Great, another jiwang post.
I'd say(with a frown), Yes la. I'm full aware that its SAD.

but,

this, c'mon now.






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Emptyin The Mind

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Needa Fixing

Quote of the Day
All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on -Havelock Ellis


Letting go. I never knew how.

Holdin on. That i do nicely.

What if i stopped holding on? Would that mean i'm letting go?


Ah, here is a better thought.


How about i hand u a loaded gun.


Would u hunt her down and get her to sleep with me?


p/s: fire a warning shot if absolutely necessary.




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Goin To California

Cover



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Emotional Explosion

No, not that kind, a different kind.

I had one last night. Twas bound to happen tho. Red button pushed. Ka-boom.

It sucks cos it took much effort withholding it from happening and it din help that i am goin thru the shittiest of times...

fck that.

DotA.


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The Grass Always Grows Greener

over at Kinrara, Puchong.

Its just being here, the distortion of what u remember it bein like back home and then there is no lah-ing at every end of a sentence. No ramly burgers. No nasi lemak that actually tastes like nasi lemak.
Dang, layaning jiwang is becomin very much of a norm these days. I succumb to this mood most noticably when mi playlist hits Michael Buble's Home, almost instantly i fall into this rather dark gloomy state. Most times, with the homesickness, the ugly memories of the past comes creepin in. Just like zombies on yur lawn, they just keep comin and they'll fckin feast on yur brain.
Sigh.

U'd go, ...
I'd say, imma needa my fixah. I needa.


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Signs

I get up in the evening and i ain't got nothing to say. I come home in the morning, i go to bed feeling the same way. I ain't nothing but tired. Man I'm just tired and bored with myself.
Hey there baby, i could use just a little help. - Dancin In The Dark, Bruce Springsteen

And the help arrives(fer this 'Jason' fella that is).

Here, its that new vid on fb that makes the ladies go AAWWWWW...
Its a pretty cheesy watch i'd say, but undeniably a fckin good one. Left me in awe and i predict i shall hit the bed feelin all soppy. Bleh.



--> Or, click here to watch it in HD <--

Oh, if u, like me, think u've seen that babe on the vid sumwhere before, chances are, u've mistaken her fer a celeb who has recently gaind much fame. Care to guess who?
hint - ask a gayfriend.

Signs, the short film by @Radical.Media and Publics Mojo Productions.
Starring:
Nick Russell and Kestie Morsaai
Screenplay By:
Patrick Hughes, Karl Fleet and Nick Worthington
Directed By:
Patrick Hughes
Produced By:
Victoria Conners-Bell
Plot Outline:
Where do you find love? If we knew, we would all know where to look.
Sometimes all you need is a sign.


*Thank you Sharanya fer sharing.

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I Ask Myself

[With A Lil Help From My friends (cover) - ortoPilot]


It doesnt matter how many fckin times i've walkd in and out of that maze of wretchdnes, it still proves impossible walkin out of it unscratched.

Ah crap.

U'd ask, why allow yourself to go again?
I'd say, i'm drawn to those darn bright fckin lights!


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TKO-ed

Exam week has made me a lil unwell. I need,



..and nope, porn no count.


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Yeh, exam week it is.

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Hit The Wall Did I

Head feels heavy. No, its not the hair fellas. Twas today's class. I was completely lost, not even sure if he spoke english. And if that wasnt enuff for the melancholy buildup, i had a group meeting right afterwards.

Here's a lil sumthin bout my group mates. They were easily the 2 best lookin thing in that class, and nice. But havin to repeat miself so many fckin times, its frustratin, and even if they did get me, say on the 10th time, the actual message doesnt get interpreted adequately. Hence, forcin me to ridiculous hand gestures. *hands u a loaded gun*
Yes, it's tru that i am generously 'treated' to cleavage action everytime we met, but, these girls - they make me feel so incompetent that it's almost impossible to appreciate those sweet lookin curves at that given situation. Even mo frus!

AaarrrrrggghHHhhh

Troubles with design subject, coupled with the communication breakdown, fuh, tormenting i tell u! Almost lost it, but lucky sanity kicked in and i got to excuse miself in a proper fashion.

I wish that was the end of it, but alas there is mo, there's the fckin assignment that has to be done tonite.

If the smokes not gonna kill me tonite, then i predict, this assignment will.



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Chase

Watch it and do some serious pondering.




video off allanwatts.com


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Abhorrance Dementia

It's not procrastination anymo, it has tipped way off that scale.

Deprived.

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Thevan Is Zero!

Yes fellas, I am Zero(pronounced Jilo)!
Now, all hail The New Britainnia, or else, DIE!

That aside,

allow me to bother you with this;

Why is that, even when warned that the pot is hot, you still touch it?

Why do it when you already know its gonna hurt?

Do you have this un-conscious want to self inflict pain?

Can you say masochism?

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Lost

Would you tell me, please, which way I oughtta go from here?

That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.

I don't much care where,

Then it doesn't matter which way you go,

so long as I get somewhere

Oh, you're sure to do that, if you only walk long enough.



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It's Not Me, It's You

"It's not u, it's me"

Ever had that line thrown at ya? No? Then how about,

"We need to talk"

or maybe,

"I gonna need some space fer a bit"

If u've had those lines used on u, then it is most likely it came off a woman. Wont u agree? Call it chauvinism, call it hypocrisy but surely, if you reason, there's a certain extent of truth to it.

Its just that.

When it comes down to women and relationship, i lack the comprehension. I'd say its partly due to the fact i was from an all boys school, but mostly, the way i think of them.

So when my first girlfriend came in the picture, i was already 23. Fast fwding to just a bout 2 years later(LDR is fcked btw, workable, but fcked!) things began to crumble, and before i cud even really digest all that happend, those dreadful words came,
"i need to tell you sumthing before u hear it from anyone else" and i'm darn fckin sure the "it's not you, it's me" was slipped in sumtime after.

Yeh, that felt like crap. The thing is tho, i kinda believed it then. It must have been her fault!

As time passes, as wound heals, i started realizing stuffs, almost like an epiphany if u may and i think i know now - what meant was actually quite the contrary - It's not me, it's u!


Ah jiwangness! This is wat got me writing;

a scene from the Jerry Seinfeld





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CrossRoad

Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on
And it makes me wonder....

or so they say.


tormented, inside out

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When The Clowns Have Gone To Bed

Ever woke up one day and everything sucked and you become moody and silent and almost nuthin can be done to please you? Friends asks you if you're ok, and pulls off sum stunt in an attempt to cheer you up, but instead, puts you at an even more angry morose state.
And along with that, comes the shytfckd lines that you wish you hadn't said, but felt like twas the right thing to say at that instance.

Everyone is bound to have a day like this. Learn to cope. It's hard i know, but you'll simply haf too.

And, if you're that friend who thinks you can make the world happy with yur antics,

Fckin hell, here's an advice to you jesters, please don't try, give 'em some fckin space. There's really no reconciliation possible! Not until the day is over at least.



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Why Do Men Have Nipples? No Answers Here!

Gdday all!

I had an exam last Saturday, and i think it went ok. Much better than ok actually, but ye, will see. 2 more papers up nxt week and still yet to start on those two. Haih, wish me luck on gettin started!

Neways, this post was inspired by a weird random thot i had wen i was havin a ciggie break from studies for that Saturday paper. Like always, went out fer a ciggie break topless, and as i was admiring mi 'awesome' physique, mi dark nipples caught mi attention and that mi friends, instigated a coupla questions. Really! Why in the beegeez do i have a pair of nipples? Why the fck do men have nipples? Wtf for?

I could understand why women have them. Obviously, fer us horny blokes to suck on! Owh, and there is babies. BUT WHY THE FCK DO WE MEN HAVE NIPPLES???!!

Clearly this random thot was interferin with my last minute of crampin formulas into mi head. So i did wat any dude in that position would do, i fondld them fer abit (I had to do sumthin!) - just to see if anything happend. Nah, nuthin. Hence i concluded that it had to be some sorta prank played upon us men, by our Creatzors. I left it at that.

Today, after 15 episodes of Simpsons(relevant?), i recalled that thot and did a lil googlin'.. and owhhh, fellas, u'd be, heck, I AM, surprised to know, that it wasnt only i, who have ponderd on that. Here's an excerpt from a site;

"Why do men have nipples? - Great thinkers, from Aristotle to Darwin, have pondered this question."

Are u ponderin still? Scratch yur head no mo! Go google - Why Do Men Have Nipples?


Nipplified,

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Procrastinatzor

Am i prepard? Hah, you tell me!

YES fellas, finals is drawin near, assigmnents and prac reports are due in abit and i'm not doin anything to make it all go away yet. I should start, say, maybe tonight. But, thats exactly wat i said yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. Damnit, my procrastination habits are beginnin to scare the shyt outta me. Below is just tad of my to-do's;

Told miself i'd quit smokin, and i've had at least 5 'last boxes' ever since. Almost got thru today w/out smokin, but ye, rolled up one just a min ago.

My Medibank Private(student health cover) expired August last year. I've told miself to get it renewd one too many times already. Still, its tuckd in my wallet bearin that same expiry date, 07 Aug 2007.

As for my prac reports and assignments, they've snowballd so massively and i am sumhow convinced that it'll all magically disappear. Just like that, poof, begone now.

Ah, dun get me started on my revisions fer finals.


My darling, Karupayee has to be fixd. Her hard disk crashed like 2 months ago. Wait, I think its the hard disk, cannot be too sure. Well, Vicky will haf to fix it once he comes bck from Malaysia.
OOh and dat reminds me, a quik shoutout to the bitch, haf a safe flight, and fckin have an awesome time dwn there. Gimme a ring every now n then, and also, fill me in on wats up with Thines.





The fckin list never ends. I oughtta get my blu arse back on track and that is what i shall do. Wish me luck!



" Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. "


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